Sunday, January 2, 2011

I just came in from the garage, where I bundled up all of Larkin’s newborn clothes in a crate to be saved for baby #2 (or a baby clothes quilt if baby #2 ends up in pink). Each of those teeny tiny onesies were laundered and folded with care and love several weeks before my due date. My hugely pregnant self stroked the soft cotton and fingered the tiny stitching, dreaming of the baby to come.

They seemed so impossibly tiny back then, but our little guy swam in them. I relished picking a new outfit every morning, and dressing him up when visitors came to meet him. I loved him in solids, simple colors that made his beautiful blue grey eyes stand out. I could gather up a week’s worth of laundry in a single hand, and the scent of his sweet baby self would fill my heart.

Putting his newborn layette away is actually a long overdue chore. Larkin outgrew the newborn sizes by about six weeks old. I moved them out of the drawers over a month ago, and have been moving them around the apartment as they got in my way. A few weeks ago, they took up residence in his bassinet – which he has also outgrown. And there they have stayed due to my unwillingness to let go of the tiniest stage of my boy’s babyhood.

Although he still (just barely!) fits into most of his 0-3 m stuff, the cold weather that has finally kicked up has forced me to give in and pull out his 3-6 m outfits. I remember receiving all of them, and thinking that it’d be FOREVER before he’d fit into them. But one day lead to the next, and each day brought tremendous growth.

Now, I sit here and cry like a mother packing a child off to college. I’ll never understand the parents who rush through any stage of their offspring’s childhood. Each moment is gold, and I breathe in every second. I keep begging my baby to stay tiny, and he just laughs at me. When the doctor first laid him in my arms, I swore I could never love him more. But every day, I fall a little more in love. As much as I miss his tiny newborn body, his sweet wrinkled feet and quiet, mewling cries, I melt over his huge smile, his growing independence and his rock strong and chubby legs.

My newborn is now an infant, and heading as fast as he can through his babyhood.

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