My Baby is a Jedi

My baby is a Jedi.

No, he isn’t all-wise, can’t swing around a light saber, or fight the dark side.

When 9 months old you reach, look as good, you will not.

But he is an expert at using THE FORCE.

Think I’m exaggerating? Consider this:

I tuck him in for a nap, and he’s sleeping soundly. I serve up a delicious, warm meal – and WAAAH! He’s awake.

I tell someone that, yes, I would like to have another baby one day – and BOOM! He starts acting like a wild animal.

It’s late at night, and mama needs a glass of wine. I pour a lovely glass – and he is immediately up and fussing for a marathon nursing session.

I brag to someone about how smart he is or how dexterous he has become – and he crawls straight into a wall.

I close my eyes to finally get some rest, go to kiss on my husband, or put in a movie I’ve been longing to see – you guessed it. AWAKE.

Now, it’s possible that those are all easily explained. Perhaps he smells the food and it rouses him from sleep. Maybe the pop of the wine bottle wakes him. It could be that the movement of me getting into bed, or the sound of a kiss, or his fear of potential future siblings pushing him from his only child status, or the noises from the TV create disturbances.

(One particularly annoying behavior is that the second I post a favorable Facebook comment or blog entry about a new skill or sleeping schedule, the happy behavior disappears. Although unlikely, I suppose it is possible he has an iPhone hidden in his diaper and just dislikes the pressure of me bragging on the internet.)

But what convinces me the most of his Jedi status – he can READ MY MIND.

The second I settle in for the evening, and allow myself to think “Oh, thank God he’s down for the night” – he’s up. IMMEDIATELY. The instant I think, “What a sweet baby” - suddenly, he ISN’T.  The minute I dwell on what a lovely bond we have, the stinker slams his head into my wind pipe and jams a finger up my nose.

My friends assure me that I’m not alone. They tell me their babies do the same to them. This does not reassure me in the slightest.

That just tells me there is an entire force of Jedi babies preparing to dominate the world.